Weirdness on the plane

I can't believe that after all this time he still gets to me. On my way back to the Philippines, I cried on the plane ride from Hyderabad to Singapore. Thinking about it now makes me want to tear up again. I guess it just reminded me of how lonely I was when I went home in September 2008 after spending 12 days with him. You won't believe how pathetic I was---me, crying over a guy?! Eww.

But, yes, I cried. And on that plane ride to SG, I cried. I kept thinking about how things should have been if all had gone according to plan. I was sure he was the one. I felt it. It just really sucks that it was a failed relationship. Again.

It's funny how during the first few days after we had broken up I was happy that I was taking the break up quite well. I wasn't weepy. I wasn't catatonic. I was not the the girl who could hardly eat or sleep in 2005 when another relationship fell apart. I thought it meant that I was okay with it all. I guess I'm really not. On December, it will be one year since we broke up. We were broken up longer than we were together. That thought alone makes me want to cry and hurt him or whoever really bad. I want to inflict pain on someone, anyone, because I am still hurting. Even after all this time.