Trust what you know about yourself

I always, always think I will change or be better at accepting things especially when it comes to food. This evening I learned (what my mind keeps saying to me time and again, and yet I fail to listen) that I could only do 'heat' at the jenfur (i.e., me) level, and never the level that Indians or whoever else likes spicy things could. I ordered Dum Biryani for dinner and asked if they could make it less spicy. Unfortunately the mix is pre-done so they couldn't adjust the heat. After maybe five spoonfuls of the thing (I valiantly tried, mind you), I quit. I just couldn't take the heat. I couldn't taste the food anymore because it was too spicy (for me). But boy could I smell it. It smelled so good, so delicious. But it was too spicy. :-(

I don't know why I keep insisting on doing things the opposite way, the way I'm unaccustomed to. It's insane that I keep trying because past experiences show that there are things that are meant to be done the way I have always done them. No amount of pepping or getting egged on will change it. In the end, if I do things a different way, try things I normally would stay away from, I become sorely disappointed. And then I mentally smack my own head for thinking that I could do things differently.

And, yes, the second para also hints at a recent situation at work. If you're in Plurk, you know what I'm talking about.