Second attempt to crochet a Christmas sock

I bought a pattern off Ravelry for crochet Christmas socks. They're supposed to be for decor and come with crochet snowmen and gingerbread men. I keep making a mistake following the pattern for round 29 onwards. It's doing my head in! I frogged my first attempt because I just knew I was doing it wrong. So here's to trying it the second time around. I hope I do good this time!

Not feeling well

I called in sick again. *sigh* and it's true. I have been unable to sleep. The only reason i'm awake right now is because i still haven't been able to sleep. This really sucks!

Weirdness on the plane

I can't believe that after all this time he still gets to me. On my way back to the Philippines, I cried on the plane ride from Hyderabad to Singapore. Thinking about it now makes me want to tear up again. I guess it just reminded me of how lonely I was when I went home in September 2008 after spending 12 days with him. You won't believe how pathetic I was---me, crying over a guy?! Eww.

But, yes, I cried. And on that plane ride to SG, I cried. I kept thinking about how things should have been if all had gone according to plan. I was sure he was the one. I felt it. It just really sucks that it was a failed relationship. Again.

It's funny how during the first few days after we had broken up I was happy that I was taking the break up quite well. I wasn't weepy. I wasn't catatonic. I was not the the girl who could hardly eat or sleep in 2005 when another relationship fell apart. I thought it meant that I was okay with it all. I guess I'm really not. On December, it will be one year since we broke up. We were broken up longer than we were together. That thought alone makes me want to cry and hurt him or whoever really bad. I want to inflict pain on someone, anyone, because I am still hurting. Even after all this time.

Again?

I'm going to lose another person I admire and respect at work.

When is it going to stop?

I fukken hate writing goodbye/thank you letters. I hate it!

Trust what you know about yourself

I always, always think I will change or be better at accepting things especially when it comes to food. This evening I learned (what my mind keeps saying to me time and again, and yet I fail to listen) that I could only do 'heat' at the jenfur (i.e., me) level, and never the level that Indians or whoever else likes spicy things could. I ordered Dum Biryani for dinner and asked if they could make it less spicy. Unfortunately the mix is pre-done so they couldn't adjust the heat. After maybe five spoonfuls of the thing (I valiantly tried, mind you), I quit. I just couldn't take the heat. I couldn't taste the food anymore because it was too spicy (for me). But boy could I smell it. It smelled so good, so delicious. But it was too spicy. :-(

I don't know why I keep insisting on doing things the opposite way, the way I'm unaccustomed to. It's insane that I keep trying because past experiences show that there are things that are meant to be done the way I have always done them. No amount of pepping or getting egged on will change it. In the end, if I do things a different way, try things I normally would stay away from, I become sorely disappointed. And then I mentally smack my own head for thinking that I could do things differently.

And, yes, the second para also hints at a recent situation at work. If you're in Plurk, you know what I'm talking about.

Saturday in Hyderabad

I haven't done much except call R and talk about the plans for tomorrow.

I finally got my dollars exchanged for rupees. I also just ordered lunch; it's 2:18 p.m. here and I'm hungry. I had to wait for the guy that I was getting my Indian currency from and had to get bigger notes changed to smaller ones to use for tipping.

I also called for transportation because I need to go to the bookstore and to the supermarket to get some supplies. The food items in the mini bar are too expensive! I already opened the Doritos they had because I was so hungry! I did this at 2 a.m. this morning as I was still up then. I have to get paper bags for the dried mangoes and miniature jeepneys I got my teammates for souvenirs from the Philippines.

Tomorrow we're all going out! :-D I hope the transportation service isn't too expensive for our trip tomorrow.

Cute guy alert

A cute guy brought up the breakfast I ordered earlier. He was *really* cute! I wish I had asked if I could take his picture. I just don't know what reason to give. I hope I run into him again (if I manage to venture out of my room!) and take photos of him in secret. LOL!

Man, I'm hungry.

I created a photo set for Hyderabad in Flickr. The photos that are up were taken in Changi and some are pictures of my hotel room. Hehe! Just keep checking my photostream for updates.